Tinasdietdiary's Blog

Archive for February 2010

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Dear Diary,
life is going well and I am almost back to being the busy, all-over-the-place person that I used to be before I started writing my thesis and just focusing on that. I am making sure that food and dieting remain a priority, because if I do not pay attention, dramatic things tend to happen. I have been paying close attention to my behavior and discovered a lot of traps and thinking patterns that I have set up in the past and that I now have to get rid of. A perfect example was yesterday: I had a late breakfast because I went out the night before and then went shopping with my roommate. From shopping I was going directly to my friend’s place where I would have dinner that night. I bought a lot of really nice things by the way: pink-grey-black heels which were 70% off, a new make-up brush and the MAC Glamour for All Lipglass (it is probably one of the most special lipglosses I have ever seen). So after getting myself all these nice things I was on my way to the train when I noticed a little hungry feeling in my stomach. I was at the Central Station, where everything from grocery store to Burger King, Starbucks or Swirls Sundae could have catered my need. I chose not to let them. It was 4.30, I would have dinner by 6 and I was just a little hungry (not craving, really hungry) but I knew I would not get cramps or feel dizzy if I waited. So that is exactly what I did. I was very very proud of myself for walking past all the temptations. I looked at my new shoes instead 🙂

Another interesting thing happened to me on thursday night. I got really excited while planning my vacation around 6 pm and then called my friend and we ended up planning and booking it until around 10. And then I watched TV with my roommate until around 11 I felt a little discomfort in my stomach. I had completely FORGOTTEN to eat. That is a huge thing for me, because normally I am so obsessed with food, I NEVER forget to eat. So I had a light sandwich then. But this also showed me that if I have exciting things on my mind, eating is much less important to me. Which is probably what went wrong the last six months, because there were not so many exciting things 🙂 But there will be in the future.

But to get back to the subject of this post: I am going to do a food murder 🙂 Maybe some of you are familiar with the concept of a cosmetics murder (also called project 10 pan): You pick some products that you have had for very long and that you want to get rid of and vow not to buy new stuff until you have used up the old products. So…I have all these amazing healthy things in house and in my freezer and still I keep buying new (and sometimes very unhealthy) stuff. Since a slight possibility exists that I might be moving some time soon, because my budget is kind of tight and I should not buy unhealthy stuff but eat healthy I challenged myself to finish the content of my cupboard and freezer. I am allowed to buy fresh veggies and fruit and cheese or soy milk, should that be necessary but the basics are in house. I’ll take pictures in the kitchen later and post them. Have a nice sunday!!!

Dear Diary,
this is the first post on my new blog only! Welcome readers and cool that you made the transition. Please do not forget to change your blogrolls, bookmarks and rss-feeds.
I have some very good news to share. Yesterday afternoon I got a job interview and got through to the next round. Since that job would simply be the dream job, I was very very happy. And I wanted to celebrate. A craving for something sweet and chocolaty arose, because that is what I would do in a happy situation: reward myself. Well, that was what the inner child wanted, but: I did not eat any crap! I called my aunt, my parents, watched an episode of One Tree Hill and then went to the gym. I thought the store would be closed by the time I got back, but it wasn’t. I simply walked past it on my way home and was very very proud of myself. I did talk back to my voice of temptation.

Then there is something else I wanted to talk to you about: in Canada, I bought a tea called Slim Tea at the Asian store. You’re supposed to drink it at night and it adds the turbo to you digestion, with a big result in the morning if you understand. I bought a similar tea at the Asian Store in the Netherlands. It says Dieter’s Drink on the package. It just does not work as well as the “Canadian”. It gives my tummy aches and cramps all night long but does not really have a huge influence on my digestion. Do any of you know and have experience with these teas? Would you recommend them?

I am sorry I did not blog for a week, nor did I really share my meals on Twitter. I was distracted by my thesis and the uncertainty that is my future…not knowing what is ahead stresses me a little. Good thing about being stressed this time: I did not take it out on my eating, just by not blogging. I stuck to my plan exactly until friday. Since the plan involved going out for sushi on wednesday and tapas on thursday it was not really bad and we only had three rounds of sushi (which made me weigh 1.5 kgs more the next day nevertheless), not more than I planned and also not a crazy amount of Tapas. Still, I didn’t want to face the misery and stopped weighing until today and I have only gained 500 gr, so I don’t have to start over. Which is a good thing. On friday, after my thesis meeting which went really well but not as well as I had hoped I bought a Mars Delight bar and Caramel Chocolate to console myself. So much for resisting emotional eating.

I spent the weekend at my parents, where I was very busy so I did not open my Diet Diary once or read my cards. BAD BAD me. So even though my weight did not go up as I would have expected for a weekend without planning and resisting I feel like my dieting skills have not really improved. But I will keep working on them. My resistance to temptations is still non-existent when it is really needed (like in emotional eating situations). I do not even get to the point of talking back to my inner “I WANT IT ALL AND I WANT IT NOW”-voice. I’ll listen to myself very carefully and try to interfere with it before it can interfere with my plans. I remember that I was once able to do that, but splurging for the last two years whenever the opportunity presented itself has made me weak. I feel that once I have that strength back, I am able to stand most temptations. Do you have any tips for me? I now start a dialogue with myself when I approach “dangerous” situations and that helps, but sometimes, when my inner child decides it doesn’t want the dialogue it just switches off.

And somehow, sweets are still an essential part of my day. Even though I decided that last week I would try to live without them, I ended up drinking a smoothie with chocolate sprinkles. I am trying to decide now if I should focus on all the bad habits and dieting skills at once or approach them one by one.

I can almost see it…my dieting tunnel is still very long, but thanks to the Beck diet I can see the light shining far ahead again. It is obviously way too early to draw any conclusions about the Beck diet working for me, because I am in the hyperactive-ĂĽberenthusiastic beginning phase and in this phase I stick to any diet, but yesterday went very very well. I planned what I was going to eat (and then ended up eating something different because I ate together with my roommate, but the nutritious value of my meals did not really change) and I did not snack or cheat…even though my roommate asked me to bring her cookies from the store and when she then gave me one I put it in a jar and hid it in my room. I had not planned to eat it, so I wouldn’t. Sticking to the plan made me feel awesome in the morning and I lost a whole pound!

I will be out of the thesis tunnel, on the other hand, very very soon. Today I am at the library all day because that thesis has to be finished somehow. I brought a bar of chocolate (100 gr – the standard size, not the ones I eat/inhale usually). This is a little against what I normally do and of course I am doing it for the wrong reason – I need to motivate myself to finish my thesis. BUT I really need to finish my thesis and that works much better if there is chocolate involved and I don’t have to phantasize about it all the time. Because, as far as the thesis is concerned, I have kind of hit rock bottom, there is not much fun about it anymore and my deadline is Wednesday. From Wednesday on, I’ll take chocolate and food in general off my list of motivators. For now, chocolate is just working too well. I actually hope to be done with the hard writing work tomorrow night so that I won’t need any further encouragement. Besides, from the library I am going straight to the gym. I checked, the chocolate has 540 calories…spending an hour on the cross trainer will burn them again, so that’s what I will do.

And now I will get back to the thesis so that I can stop eating motivator chocolate by tomorrow night!!!


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