Tinasdietdiary's Blog

Hello Diary and Diary readers (if there still are any of you),

it’s been quiet on here, but rest assured – it’s not because I haven’t been dieting 😛 I have just been very busy, so when I started working, I stopped writing. Also maybe because I don’t operate in a diet-friendly environment and that hasn’t helped me and my figure in the last two years. But I’m feeling not too bad and loving what I’m doing and recently I have truly stopped dieting and started to do something which the rest of the world would refer to as “normal eating behaviour”. Which is weird for me, because the whole concept was completely new to me, since ever since I consciously made my own food choices I was limiting myself in one way or another. This is actually working quite well for me. How I got there is a loooooong story and my journey is definitely not finished yet, so the story will be told some time in the future. 

At the moment, however, I am doing a 30 Day Bikram Yoga Challenge and I am also blogging about that. So please visit my Bikram Challenge Blog if you want to. 

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Dear diary,
I was at Pilates again yesterday and today I can actually move. I have also decided that while it is absolutely not fun and it hurts, Pilates is a necessary evil I should live with because the effects speak for themselves. My weight is somewhere around 101 kg…the weird thing is that last week when I ate the occasional chocolate or pudding or pasta I was below that and that since I haven’t done that since monday it seems to go up again. Oh the mystery that my body is!!! I did not have problems with my eating behavior in the last few days…I managed to talk back to the inner child, even though it came only once, I went to the gym…since all the pressure about finding a job is gone things are very easy. I was also very busy finishing my thesis this week (I have my defence presentation tomorrow) so that kept me from obsessing about food. Unfortunately I still have to finish that presentation and I am unsure about a lot of things…so maybe I will just make a long presentation and discuss with my best friend tonight which parts I should leave out. I am very excited for the presentation, but good-excited and not completely stressed out. Well, only at times.
Once the presentation is done I have a nice weekend of partying ahead of me and then two weeks of saying goodbyes (which will involve a lot of eating out) to my friends here and moving preparations. I already packed the first two boxes today 🙂 Well, I have to get to work.

…happen to me. Or so it seems. Yesterday I received great news: I got the job that I interviewed for in Dublin and that I obsessed about so much. I am soooo incredibly happy. I am not even graduated and I have a supergreat job at one of the best companies in the world waiting for me!

Unfortunately that company is also known for feeding its employees very well and providing sweets and treats at any time…so I’ll face days full of temptations but I will come up with some kind of rule for myself and never let myself get used to eating all the time there. And they also have a gym…so I can also work out there. When I received the news I got very excited and I skipped dinner. I just wasn’t in the mood to eat. I don’t know why, maybe because the uncertainty and the pressure are gone, I don’t feel the urge to stuff my face all the time. Plus, I have a ton of things to do now. My graduation is in a week, my thesis is not completely done (oops, I’l REALLY REALLY work on it today), I have to find somebody for my room in Utrecht, plan moving back to my parents and then from there to Dublin and all the bureaucratic hassle that comes with it. I AM LOVING IT ALREADY.

I also weighed myself today on my own scale and it said 100.7 (222 pounds). Even though it is not two-digit yet, it is an all-time low since I started my diet diary. I’ll be a good girl today and tomorrow (and all the other days too) and then I can hopefully welcome the UHU (as we say in German for below hundred). It’s a huge mental barrier, just because the number feels so much smaller and I have scratched it quite some times and went below it once, but then weird things happened and I got back to where I was. NOT THIS TIME. I can feel all the positive change going on and this is part of it. And now I have to do another food murder…because I am moving in three weeks! The last one was very good, but of course I still had some stuff left and now I only bought nice healthy things so I’ll go to the kitchen, make an inventory and a plan.

I made up my mind about going to the gym and decided that I should get a new membership for a month right away and just use it as long as I can. So when my roommate told me she was going to Pilates yesterday I joined her. It was tough and I felt every single one of those body core muscles. And now I feel them even more, and it is probably going to get worse. Even though it is not the most comfortable feeling, I LOVE IT! Something good is happening to me. Today (and maybe tomorrow too, depending on how sore I feel) I am not going to the gym, but I can’t wait to hit it again 🙂

My eating is a whole different story…even though I was doing good during the days, I snapped both tuesday and wednesday night and ate a lot of random crap 😦 I am under a lot of tension right now, so that is the explanation/excuse, but it shouldn’t be like this. Maybe I should do more yoga. Go back on vacation. Good thing is, the tension will most probably be over tomorrow. Maybe I can lock myself up in my room until then. I also don’t dare to weigh myself. DEAL: I will stop munching and weigh myself tomorrow morning? I think so.

My best friend (who never had any weight troubles) asked me if I would join her in her lent. She proposed not to eat sweets, no wheat and no sweet drinks. After considering it a little I agreed and decided that I would follow the Metabolic Balance routine until my vacation and see where it goes from there. As usual, I started off great, the first wednesday I sticked to what I planned, but on thursday it already went wrong. I was home alone at my parents house and I ate everything I could think of. There weren’t a lot of sweets, but oatmeal, cheesecream sandwiches, peanuts…I didn’t technically cheat on our lent rules, but I did cheat on myself. I felt bad about it, so I decided to go to the office to work on friday in order to stay away from temptations at home. Which worked out well, I even passed the sweets that my colleagues offered me but when I had to go to the post office and I was really hungry (apparently I had forgotten that hunger is not an emergency) I meant to get a granola bar and ended up with cookies. When I got home that night I again ate everything that crossed my mind.

Luckily the next day I went on vacation and being so excited about it, I only had yoghurt and fruit salad for breakfast and did not have time for lunch before I left. So when we got to the airport at night, my friend who I went on vacation with and I were starving and headed to McDonald’s. Not good. But very tasty…I haven’t had it in a long long time. Even though this was certainly not a good start, the vacation went very very well diet-wise. We chose not to do All-Inclusive because we knew we would be stuffing our faces all the time, so instead we just had breakfast and dinner at the hotel. The food was okay, but not superdelicious so the chances of overeating were minimal. I sometimes had a little cake for dessert, but I never ate chocolate!!!! For lunch we mostly just had granola bars and juice and bananas and I am very happy to say that in the whole of our vacation, I did not eat any sweets! My friend didn’t really think about it until we were on our way back and then was amazed. We’ve known each other since High School and also studied together and eating loads of chocolate has always been one of our favourite hobbies. We also went diving and swimming a lot and I also got sick one day and didn’t eat for 24 hours, so my stomach got nice and slim. I hadn’t weighed myself before the vacation so I don’t know what happened to my weight, but I felt much better and I weighed myself with my parents’ scale and it told me 102 kg (it’s meaner than mine at home so I can’t wait to get on that one). I will go there on wednesday and I want my weight to be two-digit!!!!

So today I had a cream cheese bun and fruit salad for breakfast, green cabbage and sausages for lunch and sweet-sour chicken, rice and salad for dinner. My mum gave me a cookie and I was not in resistance-mode so I ate it but I will tell her tomorrow that she should not give me things and try very hard to stay away from them myself. I haven’t decided how my next steps will look exactly and since I will be all over the place planning only works for so long…but I will not eat sweets and no bad bad carbs for sure. Maybe I should just plan my eating like this and try to stick to my plan, according to the Beck Diet and see where that takes me in a week. Because of the things ahead the next 1,5 weeks will be superexciting and I should plan some treats, but maybe not the extremely sugary kind. Since I don’t know if I am moving soon, I don’t know if I should get a new month pass for the gym, but maybe I should get it anyways and make good use of it while I still can. I could also get a pass for 10 visits, but that is actually more expensive, so if I get the 4-week one now I can use it more than 10 times.

So many things to make up my mind about.

Dear diary and diary readers :),

first, let me excuse myself for not writing in such a long time…this is a typical sign of how I fail to integrate conscious dieting into my life as soon as things start to get busy and crazy. Probably where things always go wrong. I didn’t even do a lot of crazy eating and stuffing…I was just very busy, obsessed with other things and wasn’t thinking through what I ate and because I wasn’t really thinking I also didn’t feel like blogging. Plus, I was working on (yet another) final version of my thesis. By now, I have set my graduation date and am working on the REAL final version. I went on a short trip to Dublin for a job interview. Preparing the interview and obsessing about it afterwards also consumed a lot of time. The interviews went well and I hope to get some good news this week. I’ll keep you posted. Promise. I was also working in my student job and then, on Saturday 20th I went on a well-deserved vacation to Egypt. It was just perfect, I was at the beach, diving, partying and got a nice little tan. The only stupid thing is that my bag is still in Hurghada or somewhere else, I have no idea. With storm Xynthia it’s highly unlikely that it came to Germany yesterday, so I will just wait. I literally have nothing to wear, since I am at my parents and all my stuff is in my bag so I wear trackpants and sweaters from my brother and save the things I was wearing yesterday for if I have to go somewhere.

Today I had a whole wheat bun with cream cheese and fruit salad and I don’t have plans for the rest of the day yet, but I will make plans for that and the rest of the week soon. Once I caught up with reading my mail, blogs and all the other things that you don’t do when you’re on vacation I’ll get back to blog more about lents, eating on vacation and dieting plans.

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